Becoming connected
How to build a strong and genuine network.
“Everything you want in life is a relationship away”.
For the longest time, people have said to me, “you’re so connected,” or “you know everyone”. Some people would say you must have read “so and so’s” book on being a connector. But I never have. Maybe I will someday. I just recognized early in life that everyone has a network, whether they spend time actually engaging it or not. It’s just a question whether you recognize this and decide to manage this amazing asset.
In preparing this concept on “becoming connected”, I looked at my network and observed the following;
I have been enjoying a genuine network (I will explain the term “genuine” later) since I was 19 years old
My current network has a reach of in excess of 94,000 people
My network’s combined value and influence is over $4 billion
A simple routine I started in my twenties, when there was no Internet and no Linkedin, is still relevant and effective today
I truly enjoy the “connecting” and helping people
Think about when someone asked you, “Do you know a company to repair a roof or do landscaping”? We can each draw into our network and quickly assess whether we have that contact or not. It is no different with your business network, yet many do not proactively manage and maintain their connections. Unfortunately, when they need to call on it because of something like a job loss, it acts like a muscle that has not been used for a long time. With just a little exercise, a little perspective and routine, your network will not only be stronger but a valuable asset.
“Altitude in life is in direct proportion to Attitude in life”
Rather than utilizing your network in a random manner, I recommend having your system that is intentional, strategic and deliberate. As Stephen Covey says, let’s start with the end in mind and these would be my take aways for you:
Recognize your network as an asset and consciously have your own “connect view”. A “connect view” is your view of how you see relationships whether more transactional, project oriented or for a much longer time frame.
Assess your network now for gaps and identify your top key relationships (KR’s).
Establish your routine for taking care of this asset.
Ensure you are enjoying the routine (yes, enjoying), achieving your outcomes and adjusting your routine where needed. You do not need to be a “people person” to manage your network and have a routine (although I believe it helps). Your routine should reflect what works for you.
If you take 24 minutes and start to list people you know, how you know them and what they do, what they are interested in, you will start seeing categories. You will start to see your Connect Network. This is more than your “contacts” (emails, phone numbers). But rather this is your network of expertise, introductions and remember the magic of each person in your network is that they have a network behind them too. So, your network in turn is tenfold larger. It can be simple review of those existing contacts but looking through the lens of how you place them in your own library. By geography and markets, by industry?
“Altitude in life is in direct proportion to Attitude in life,” and for me who I choose to spend my time with greatly determines my success.
Now the differentiator for me is your “view” on connecting. It is an individual’s perspective a connection being a genuine relationship or transactional one. I see a person’s network like a fantastic garden or “people buffet” that has so much, and I want to give back, to help cultivate this garden. The simple secret is, the more you genuinely help people, the stronger your network becomes. If someone only ever takes from their network and truly is not interested in helping others, the network will recognize this, and it will wilt.
Your view and definition of “connecting” matters, my definition has three parts;
It is having a network of your contacts that you know not only their work expertise but also their interests and their backgrounds
Enjoy managing that network and staying in touch, keeping it current
Genuinely helping people that reach out for connection and guidance
I like people and genuinely am interested in a person’s choice of career, hobbies, their history, families etc. I like connecting them to others who can help them with advice. I really never saw my network as much different from others. Everyone has a network that they can connect to and draw from whenever they want. And for the network to be genuine then the network we each have can reach out to us as well. Maybe my difference was not my “network” but my view and recognition that we each have one and it’s a valuable asset. These are genuine “win-win” relationships.
“Most importantly I never saw people as a transaction but rather as a relationship”
I remember being a kid and if you needed something whether it was advice, to borrow a hockey net, whatever, I thought, “who do I know?”. My natural predisposition being that if someone asked me I would always try to make the right “connect” for them. When I was 19 years old, there was no LinkedIn or even Internet to rely on. No, I did not have a stone tablet or baby T Rex, but it was a long time ago! I recall my dad buying a car from someone named Ronnie Lock and he was successful. Everyone knew him and dad told me how Ronnie stayed in touch with him long after the sale of any car. I also saw first-hand when I went to my professors at University and just asked their advice on the job market, starting my own business, etc, not only did they give me their insights, but they made introductions. I started a book with the professor names, contact info, a few details and the same for the introductions they made for me. Without realizing it at the time, I simply created my little book of people. Then I just made a point once a week to review who I was connecting to, helping and if I needed anything. Most importantly I never saw people as a transaction but rather as a relationship and believed knowing them even a little and helping where I could was the right thing. From that the “people buffet” grows because I was not just taking from it.
Now from your little book of people, we can assess for gaps and most importantly who are your Key Relationships (KR)? If you were asked to list and rank your top 20 or 40 KR’s, who are they? Why are they on your list in that order? What have you done for each recently? How well do you know each?
This simple exercise can also be completed with help. Who on your list, in your network would you go to for their help in your creation of this list? Do you have a mentor or someone whose background and your genuine relationship with makes them a logical choice to ask? This is the start to refining your network. A Harvard Business professor told me that a person can proactively manage 40 relationships very well and after that the rest will get care but not the same as that top 40. So, I have worked in groups of 20 splitting my top 40 in two groups.
I also am now enjoying “reverse mentoring” where I am mentoring youth and equally learning from them for their use of technology, etc. In my approach I enjoy sharing with them how I connect and learning what their approach is. Once you have your “Connect List”, refined a little, and more deliberate, then develop a routine that works for you. For me, I have a few simple actions in my regular routine including:
Reaching out to my top KR’s to see if they need anything? This is a genuine ask and I want to help each where I can. It literally can be an email that asks, “Is there anything you need”?
The ask can be a text, email, call or best in person but I manage on a quarterly basis and stay in touch”
I respond within two hours to any ask from my top KR’s
I have a filter so that when I am reading an article, see a video, etc that I am deliberately assessing whether this topic would be of interest to someone in my system and I pass it along to them
Weekly I review based on knowing my relationships who I can help by making introductions
Finally when I need something I review my network and make the direct ask
I have found people to be amazed that once you have established your routine, is does not take up a lot of time. But it is weekly.
There was a Doctor once in a small city who when selected to Hilary Clinton’s Health Task Force was asked, “How do you know the First Lady”? Well, he didn’t. “Well, how are you connected to the Democratic party?”, well he wasn’t. “Well, why were you selected?” He said “I inadvertently received a gift a couple years ago as my budget was cut so I could not travel as much and attend education conferences. So I blocked a ½ hour every Thursday to call someone in the world smarter than me to ask advice and to learn from. The people I called actually said yes and took my call. Then it became a weekly conference call that I chaired for an hour or so. When the First lady’s people asked leading doctors in the world who should be on the Task Force, my name kept coming up. They said, ‘he is so connected.’” Not many people would say cutting their budget was a gift!
The final take-away is once you have refined your network, your KR’s are in categories and your weekly routine is up and running, review if you are enjoying it. Yes enjoying this asset. You see, having genuine relationships is not meant to be heavy lifting but rather to actually be something you look forward to. Also review the outcomes. Is your “garden” being created the way you want and returning to you the goals you have in life, business etc.
I am still in touch with people who mattered to me when I was 19. My “little book” is now a little larger and I have been able to reach whoever I have ever needed to reach in the world. Two people from Oprah, the CEO of Netflix, etc …. the little garden planted when I was 19 has been a seriously good investment.